….I concluded that I am beginning anew and it’s OK to be nervous as heck…..
Literally tomorrow will take me to the beginning of a new path of my Diabetes journey. It’ll be a beginning that perhaps should have happened a long time ago, I suspect at least a decade ago would have been appropriate. Whilst I “fell through some gaps” in terms of care and education etc, as previously mentioned I am suspicious that I’ve been in denial of what my Diabetes means for me for the last 15 years and this has meant I’ve accepted things that I should’ve been questioning. This is undoubtedly off the back of my diagnosis experience, and the undeniably British “Keep Calm & Carry On” attitude I adopted; none of the people around me seemed to make a fuss when I was diagnosed, so why should I? It’s true that “it is what it is”, but sometimes not making a little fuss could perhaps be detrimental to some? What was your mentality/attitude to it when you were diagnosed? On reflection, despite being someone who doesn’t enjoy a lot of unwarranted fuss; some fuss would have helped me question things and fully grasp the magnitude of my diagnosis. So peeps, ask for a little fuss/support/education/answers/hugs if you need it. That applies at any point during your life with Diabetes.
I feel incredibly apprehensive about tomorrow, I’ve been reassured by my amazing Diabuddies (and the just buddies), that it would be unusual if I wasn’t. I think for me, the apprehension, even anxiety I feel is a sign of how important this is to me. I’m about to experience a completely different version of my Diabetes than I knew existed, and as much as I want that change and improvement; there will always be a fear of the unknown, even when the unknown is set to be simply wonderful. I’ve had moments today of feeling a genuine fear, I’ve counteracted them with bringing myself back into the Here and Now which has been easier to do with our Festive Sunday plans and Matt being so wonderfully supportive.
Right now, the day before Pump start, I keep telling myself that every thought and emotion I’m experiencing is proportionate to what’s coming. It’s OK to feel nervous and excited and hopeful and afraid all at the same time.
Before I attempt any sleep tonight, there’s a little bit of prep I need to do; usual admin of travel planning aside, I also need to:
* Give a further reduced dose of Tresiba
* Sift through the items in my kit and suitably store the items I will no longer be using
* Review all Libre data to identify trends in my BGs, the specific issues I want the pump to help resolve and assess where my comfortable “steady” BG spot is.
* Make sure I have details of the ratios I use
* Select an outfit that I can comfortably wear a pump and tubing with (Jeans, vest top and button down shirt)
* Restock hypo supplies in handbag
* Mentally prepare yourself for not taking basal in the morning
* Mentally prepare yourself that before lunchtime tomorrow, you will have taken your last regular injection
* Read through all the amazing words of advice and encouragement from Diabuddies and JustDiabuddies
* Relax and do some Reiki.
It’s a big day tomorrow, I can’t wait….
All images are copyright Discombobulated Diabetic and Google Images.